My "Second" Co-op

Last Monday was the "one month left" marker for my co-op here in Port Townsend, Washington. I can't believe how fast the first two months have gone by, and the list of things I would still like to do is getting longer each day. Three months is a bit of a tricky time increment - there is just enough time for a little homesickness, and just enough time to develop good relationships with the fantastic people around me.

The people whom I've become particularly acquainted with are the members of the genuinely unique but familiar-feeling family I'm living with in the northern end of Port Townsend: Sylvia, Bernie, and Roland. As I've mentioned before, their house is nicely settled on a rural property that is connected to a view overlooking the Strait of Juan de Fuca. Living with them, I get a warm bed to sleep in, a home-cooked meal every evening, a bike (and sometimes a car) to borrow when I please, a ride to Sunfield everyday, and an open-minded family to spend time with at the end of a long day.

I do the dishes. And occasionally bake cookies or shortbread. Sound like a deal, or what?

Right from the start I knew I would enjoy staying with this family, not just because of the ample amenities, but also due to the fact that they seemed to have absolutely nothing to hide. Soon after arriving, they shamelessly allowed me to witness Roland pushing Sylvia's buttons with his persistent pestering, Sylvia throwing up her hands and rolling her eyes, and Bernie laughing to himself while shaking his head. It was such a natural and healthy interaction, I couldn't help but crack a smile.

Sylvia and I bonded quickly on conversations at the table and talkative walks with the dogs. I finally had an adult who was interested in my life experience, and she finally had a girl in the house who wasn't Winnie (the dog). Connecting with Sylvia opened the doors to stronger relationships with Bernie and Roland. Bernie will rib me and once "threatened" to make me sleep in the shed, and Roland will give me a hug when I need it and begs me to watch Doctor Who with him almost every day. The house is a good fit for me, and I feel very comfortable here.

But sometimes it's almost too comfortable.

I quickly assigned roles (as one does when far away from home) to the people of the house, and Roland filled the space in my mind as a temporary younger brother. We have fun together jumping on the trampoline outside or tickling each other on my bed. But sometimes I want to scream at Roland for asking me to play cards with him dozens of times while I'm eating breakfast, or sometimes I shoot one of my infamous glares across the dinner table if he demands I pass the salad rather than asking for it politely. It's a natural sibling back-and-forth relationship we have, and Sylvia and Bernie seem to be okay with it.

One time during Thursday Music Night there was a miscommunication about whether or not Roland could have dessert before the adults were finished playing, and it ended with him pushing me aside to storm off to his room. Sylvia came to talk to me afterwards and said, "I don't know how you would like me to talk to you right now - like Roland's older sister or a houseguest?" I asked her what the difference would be. She replied, "I really don't know."

And that's something I've been thinking much about lately, trying to figure out where my "place" is in this house.

I've settled in to treating Roland as a sibling, but only in his relation to me and not to others. For example, I am not tolerant of his common nonchalant, "Whatever" response, and I feel I am able to tell him how disrespectful I think it is and ask him not to say it to me. However, it would be a different story if I told him to stop saying it to his parents, because that's their decision in their relationship with him. I'm not in a position to teach him how to be respectful to other people, but I can draw the line for myself, as I should with anyone who is rude to me.

Nicole jokes that living with Sylvia, Bernie, and Roland is my "second co-op". And I have to agree, I'm learning just as much off of the farm with my new family as I am working with Nicole and other volunteers at Sunfield. Setting boundaries is something that I am working on even in my relationships back home, and living here is offering me an opportunity to practice just that.

Hello second co-op. Thank you for offering me a fantastic family and yet another experience to grow from.



More pictures:

An eggshell Sylvia found in the "hobo camp" near the house

Roland and me playing on the trampoline with Winnie

 Roland and Sylvia dancing in the kitchen

 Tomato house! Woo!

Last Friday Nicole (right), Ginger (left), and I built a shelter for the goats out in their new pasture

Gracie, Sunfield's new Angus-Jersey cow (9 months old)

Last Thursday I went on a hike up Mt. Walker with Roland's class. Sylvia and I walked slowly with a few kids separate from the rest of the group, and we collected these little leaf faces that the other classmates left along the path

Incredible view from the top of Mt. Walker 

Pink rhododendrons, lush fir trees, cloudy mountains, and water 

- all picturesque pieces of the Olympic Peninsula